Fighting Chance
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Ward realizes he shouldn't have dropped FitzSimmons into the ocean, but it was the only way he could save them from Garrett.


**I don't own Agents of SHIELD and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

_Warning: Abuse.  
_

* * *

Ward knew the instant he dropped FitzSimmons in the ocean that they hated him and would never trust him again. Nobody – except maybe John Garrett, and he wasn't even sure about that anymore – had ever or would ever love him. But John knew what was best for him, always had, and was just trying to eliminate the weaknesses in his life. And while he realized that dropping Jemma and Fitz in the ocean was a bad idea, he couldn't let Garrett kill them like he had killed Buddy. Neither deserved that, unlike him. Letting them go in an airtight container gave them a fighting chance, especially when they were both geniuses who could figure out some way to escape. He just wished the overwhelming guilt – something John told him was another weakness – would go away.

Ward was living in another hell, and it was impossible to escape. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't ask anyone for help. They wouldn't lift a finger for the weak little boy who fucked up every chance handed to him. No wonder Garrett was disappointed in him. He was lucky the older man stuck with him after all of his failures, still had faith in him.

Garrett's voice startled him. "Get up and get to work, kid. You take care of Fitz and Simmons?"

Ward nodded, knowing he had to tell the truth and trying to prepare himself for the punishment he deserved. "They locked themselves in a pod so I had to send them into the ocean."

Garrett's lips curled up into a sneer. "Good. But wasn't there some sort of button you could have pressed to open such one of those things? This is a high tech plane, after all."

Ward opened his mouth to defend himself and then realized he couldn't. "I'm sorry, sir. I know I failed you."

"Damn right you failed me. What the hell is the matter with you? I gave you one job, and of course you'd fuck it up. That's all you know how to do." Garrett glared at him and then punched him.

Now that he was all super-powered up, the punch hurt so much more than it normally would have. Ward cried out in pain, which only seemed to piss him off more. Where was everyone else? Was Garrett doing this in front of the others? "I'm sorry," he repeated.

"Fuck your apologies, boy." And then Garrett literally tipped the chair so Ward fell to the floor. He groaned loudly in pain as the other agent kicked him. He curled up into a ball to try to stave off the pain, but it only worsened it. Once Garrett was done kicking him, he smiled. "Now what do you say?"

"Thank you, sir. I'm sorry I failed you." When Garrett left to go talk to someone else, Ward slowly picked himself off the ground and righted the chair so he could sit down. When he looked up, Raina stood in the hallway, a hand to her mouth and was staring at him in horror. "What's your problem?" he angrily asked her.

Raina struggled to come up with words to adequately express her horror. "Does he do that to you often?"

"No," he lied. Garrett wouldn't be happy that someone else knew, and that would probably come back to bite him in the ass whenever he found out.

"Do you need me to help you with anything?" Raina didn't really care about Ward, but his injuries seemed horrific.

"No, I'm fine. Go away." And when she did, a now alone Ward walked (as fast as he could, which wasn't saying much) to the lab to take care of his injuries. Luckily, the others were out of the room, busy with more important tasks. He was grateful for that at least. Garrett always knew what was best for him, and Ward had almost forgotten that when he went undercover with the team. Garrett had done this, hurt him to set him straight again.

And despite himself, he missed the time spent on the Bus before Hydra stepped out of the shadows and into the light. He constantly worried he'd fuck it up and Garrett would know, but those brief moments he didn't hang over Ward's head? Had been some of the best times of his life. And when he saw the team again, Ward knew they'd kill him for the betrayal. He wondered who would do it – Skye? She hated him now so he wouldn't be surprised. And he had to finally accept the fact that he wasn't meant to be happy.

After he cleaned himself up, Ward met up with Garrett again. "Next time, you will cross off the rest of the team or face the consequences, Ward. I'm only doing this because I care for you."

"I know you do. And I'll take care of them, I promise you that. I can do it." Ward winced when Garrett clapped him on the back, desperately hoping he hadn't seen it.

"Good. I trust you despite evidence to the contrary." Garrett then proceeded to turn around and walk away again, leaving Ward to stew in his thoughts alone again.

Ward owed Garrett everything, but he was beginning to wonder if it had been worth it. For the first time, he realized that Garrett was exactly like his parents and Maynard. They had been like this too, and he hadn't been able to see it before. He loved John, but the man had trapped him and turned him into this weapon. And that's all he was. He wasn't even human anymore. But with clarity came understanding. Grant Ward wasn't his own person and never had been. He wasn't a good man, he was a murderer, and that was that. Fuck, no wonder Skye had been scared of him before. He wished that she had let Deathlok kill him – nobody would miss him anyway. He had seen to that the minute he turned on Coulson's team.

There was no way out of this for Grant Ward. He was trapped and no one could save him.


End file.
